The only constant in life is change. Yet, adapting to new circumstances can be one of the most challenging aspects of the human experience.
The big transitions of life challenge our identity: Starting Uni, the kids leaving home, retirement, redundancy, starting a new career, having babies. These changes require us to get out of automatic pilot and the old known safe definition of who we are.
Change is also uncomfortable because our mind is designed to reinforce what we already know and believe and to promote habitual behaviours. This helps us to function more effectively, so we don’t have to reinvent the wheel every day when we get up. But at the same time, it can make it hard to grow up, move on and embrace our full potential.
Yet, I believe those life changes should be celebrated as they are opportunities for meaningful transitions, a chance to let go of an old skin so you can regrow a newer one, embodying the wisdom gained on the way and let it shine in the sunlight.
Tips to flow through transitions with ease:
Acknowledging and Embracing the Change is the first step
The first step in dealing with any change is acceptance. Recognize that change is inevitable and that resisting it only creates more stress. Acceptance isn't about surrendering to your circumstances, but about acknowledging them and how you feel in them. Big changes can feel uncomfortable, you may experience resistance, self-doubt or anxiety, and that is totally normal. Especially if the change is unwanted, grief or shock may be stronger. Courage is about feeling those feelings and deciding to move forward positively.
Rituals, such as rites of passage, are integrative ways to acknowledge the situation and help us release and normalise the emotions associated with it.
It's better to avoid trying to be a superhero
You don’t have to keep all your balls up in the air or do it all by yourself.
Try ‘commitment cropping’, a well-known resilience tool: it’s too easy to think we should carry on as normal, but often not realistic whilst in the middle of big life changes. You could benefit from taking a bit of time to reflect on what is truly essential and what is not. This could help you getting clarity and motivation to resist the temptation to take on new commitments, delegate, consider dropping activities that are not essential and take time off when needed.
Identify the resources and support systems available to you as well. This could be friends, family, colleagues, or professional networks. Don't hesitate to reach out and ask for help when needed.
Recognising and utilising the resources you have can make the transition smoother and less overwhelming.
Positive routines can offer stability
When everything is new or changing it can feel exhilarating or unsettling. But there will also be some things in your life that are still more or less the same as before. Familiarity can be grounding and nourishing at times of change, like visiting grandparents or going on a familiar walk in nature.
Amidst change, it's crucial to take care of your mental and physical well-being as well. Keeping up with the routine activities that relax and rejuvenate you, such as exercise routine or hobbies, can help keeping you mentally resilient and grounded.
The human brain thrives on routines because they provide structure, predictability, and stability. It finds comfort and efficiency in following them.
A Solution Focused mindset offers insights in how to deal with change in a resilient way:
Focusing on preferred outcomes, Not Problems
Consider putting your focus on what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid. Start by setting clear, achievable goals. Having specific outcomes in mind can provide direction and purpose: by naming your preferred outcomes and you give yourself the ability to stay in the driving seat of your life. It also helps you to be in touch with your sense of autonomy and control.
To reinforce this sense of autonomy, you can recall what is working and how you can leverage your strengths to overcome challenges. Ask yourself questions like, "What is one thing I can do right now to make this situation better?" or "When have I successfully navigated similar changes before?"
Taking Small Steps
Big changes often require big adjustments, but that doesn't mean you have to tackle everything at once. Break your goals into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each small victory along the way, as these will build momentum and confidence.
Celebrating your victories
By adopting a solution-focused mindset, you can turn life's inevitable changes into opportunities for growth and for making choices in Mind (thoughts), Body (actions) and Heart (emotions) that support you in creating the life you want to live and the person you want to be.
When you can, take time to reflect on the experience. What are you learning about yourself? What strategies worked well? What strengths are you discovering? What are you most pleased with in how you are handling things?
What would it be like to turn the page and step into the new chapter?
External Changes are wonderfully full of potentiality, they are an opportunity for internal Transition. A unique time when we can redefine ourselves, when we throw away the old shoes but haven’t stepped into the new ones yet.
So, you can give yourself permission to dream. And remember you do have the freedom to make those
choices in Mind, Body and Heart that support you in creating the life you want to live and the person you want to be.
My name is Stephanie Betschart, as a solution focused hypnotherapist, I specialise in helping people recover from anxiety and stress, bounce back after burn outs, move on from depression, improve confidence and self-esteem and foster embodied resilience.
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